SOULMATE

im having a really bad flu now. kept sneezing from morning till now. brr , someone help me . please, i felt so sleepy but i cant to sleep.tml i still got chinese test so need to study . HAISH . i dun wan to see doctor, i dun wan to eat medicine. ahh !

lessons were okay today. stupid ronnie very noisy during chemistry lesson . hahas. rambutan lahs. ms waheeda nv come today but didn have free period cos' still got miss low. tml sure very tired de nahs.

i felt so dead.
and &&&

i failed my math again but still got improve nahs. 8 marks to go. lols.
comfort me ah , haish.

SOULMATE
kakas.

min

its the day i hated the most.
learn to take and let go ,
i'll be letting go of everything that are not mend to be mine , include him.
theres no use , i standing there asking him back .
whereas his heart is not there. theres no use holding on to something u wont get.
i cry out everything today . every single thing which dont belong to me .
or should i say ?
never belong to me before.

LIMIN . wake up lah.
hes asking u to hate him already so why dont do it that way ? he just wont turn back to u . he just wont. get it ? no matter how much u cry , it doesnt matters already. like what winnie says ah . theres taller trees in the forest ! nobody likes to see u cry . people want u to smile from yr heart. WAKE UP LAH , LIMIN . u are just nothing , okay . nobody cares at all.

goodbye to my love.
can i ?

--
to ; DUM DUM !
smile = )

min.

add- ons * karen told me something. im thinking ehs ? i mean , is this the fact ?

went to town today with jeanie & karen. 12 plus went to senja lrt wait fer them. jeanie late & karen also late. so i was sitting there alone and ya. haish, sucks lah . and guess what ? i lalalas ~ fucks. fucks . fucks. is like every single person walk past me all also use those kind of eyes looking at me. i dun need sympathy & .. & .. ya , i dunwan . haish

very tired ah , went to city hall , went to taka & many other places just fer a book. hahas , i dunch understand chemistry at all. what molecular formula. BRR..

on the bus saw felicia - ex west spring & her bf . seven plus reach home. haish .

min .
IM NOTHING .

HAISH .
moodswings lahs.

later cheryl not going with us to town . yup ,
im not feeling well now .brrr .. headache ++
i felt like vomitting again .
DUHS

i want my ai otsuka cd. !

everything just ruin my life.

min

i saw this msg & i was like stunned ,
stare at it for few minutes and i was like ,
ERM , HUH ?
maybe should just appreciate -.-

the whole day , i slept & slept & slept. online , HAISH.
disappointment >.<
rushing all my homeworks & tml should just study for chemistry.

tml going to town ; to get my organizer with karen , cheryl & jeanie.
lalalas , its a day for relaxing !

min .

AHH . TODAY IS FRIDAY >.<

&

i cried yesterday night again .

school rocks lahs except lessons . mdm mimi never come so one free period ! = ) slack abit , recess ben lai wanted to study pure geog ders , cause got test . but in the end ? dun have . lazy , hahas =x the pure geog test so so nor. can pass okay lers , hope so . next week think got four test need to study ler .

-PHYSICS
-CHEMISTRY
-ENGLISH
-CHINESE

if not wrong lorhs , tired . haish , very STRESS also. i heard people saying that there will be mid-year lers . must really focus on my studies ler nor. i try not to drop any subject . try ~

after school , was chatting with her . walans , i felt like crying sia . if me , i also wont tolerate this kind of guy . sad for her lahs , she got better choice . & she need not suffer from all this stressful things.. = (

weekends to do wad ehs ? tml going plaza with winnie or going to orchard meeting clement they all OR stay at home study . theres still aload of things undone . so , haish . dunch know nahs . but i want to relax myself by hanging outside till late late . friendster damn slow sia ,

now then i know , my brother very famous -.-
hahs xD

i want ai otsuka cd lahs . super NICE :D
wahahas, ronnie is lending me tha cd ! monday faster come ~

-

i know today is friday .
i kept telling winnie they all that today is friday .
FRIDAY !
i know i cant do it &
i said it before ,
HAISH

three words from you is enough .
-
bon voyage ? i cant lahs , fucks.
i dun wan , idunwannnn !

AHHH , crazy & under depression = ME :D
lalalas ! AHHH ! haish =X

i forgot that today's pe lesson was fun . 3B starfish ? xD
west spring starfish !
nice cheer lahs , funny also.
just for the sake of upcoming SYF .

months later going for overseas camp ( class ) ,
i want to go to europe for the history trip .
i want to see many historical things with my pair of eyes open big big ! hahas ,
but i know will damn sian . cost 2000 ++ , haish

kays lahs ,
first time i post so long ?
xD

istill-loveyou .
its tha 10th day , im counting with jeanie ..
haish , ke lian ders us .


MIN ; messages

jeanie , lovelove xD -

its tha 10th day , ya ? haish . cheer up nahs . you will get to see him one day , hahas . u better stay happy ah , if not i slap you . xD im violent , i know . u are the same too . wahahaas ... <3s you !

winnie , LAOGONG -

ahh . u know i love you aload ryte ? hahas , of course lah . i dote u so much =x you are the one i can never live without , thanks fer the times when im super sad and down , you are always the one beside me & you are always the one giving me your shoulders to lean on and cry . yes , YOU TOO . u better stay happy too , xin tong lehs when i know you heartpain becos ' of you-should-know . loveeee you to bits .

michelle , sweethart -

beat people ( convert it to chinese ) :D !! lols , u always cheer me up nahs , thanks eh ! your prince , will come to you ders . jiayou ! & your pure geog marks must not be higher than me ah. CANNOT . lalas

cheryl , my baobei -

i dun think you will get to see this. but do stay happy like u always do. no matter wad happen between you & him also must last long . dont be like me ehs . hahas , monday please ahhs. PLEASE , dont tell me you quarrel with him again . sort things out with him lors, u two so sweet der . somemore u two gone through so many things leh . dont cry . be strong :D you are the one i share my sadness the most with . so i <3s you loadd .

christine , my dearest =x -

another one who i dun think will get to see this post . my lesbian partner ? lols , u and ahems also must jiayou wors. your digimon eh ! hahas , more lady-like lers ah ! not bad , =b . takecares.

tingjian , KOR -

kor , thanks loads for all your concerns . i appreciate it alot. you helped me aload , ya. i felt very much better than last time because of what you told me . i still have a long way to go. DRINKING is good ! hahas :D promise wont smoke nahs . yup , thanks million.


&

3B , rocks .
kakas ,

INSANE !

byebye.

* i want to change blog song !

lalas, today so sian .
HAISH .
HAISH .
sian si wo lers.
tml got pure geog test , uhhh !
i didn study . later ,
this weekend ? stay at home or go orchard .
AHHS.

sian lah.

glad that i didn cry today ? lols , self -comfort lahs. today very tired. whole day wear guides full- U . after school still got guides. tml still got math test. later studying . sure fail one >.< haish , i've changed ? i agree ah , only speak more vulgarities. my bad habit comes back again . HAISH .

i hate to hear his name ,everytyme i heard it my heart pain cause it makes me think of him & the way how he treated me .why must ask me about him ? why must say about him ? the whole damn afternoon , i heard his name again & again & again from my mei . fucks, i didn say anything & i've got nothing to say anything anymore. i didn say like ; hmm . hey , can dun talk bout him ? . i didn , i kept quiet and walk away..

-
hahs , math lessons was fun lahs. mr chong will be myy favourite teacher fer my whole life. lols , i laugh till pengz , for this moment - i forgot about him , totally . ronnie lohs that funny guy , show the F sign . hahs , funny ehs .


dont make me cry again , can ?
you tear my heart to pieces.
iloveyou . ihateyou .


* friday is coming . michelle ! remember my promise ? hahs ,
HAISH . sucks lah . FRIDAY . FRIDAY . two more days only lehs.
i cant do it !


drink.drank.drunk.
smoke, smoked , smoking.
DEAD-

no pst for today . wees ! hahas , so after school went fer guides training then halfway run away . lols , dun care lahs. then went to plaza with jeanie , cheryl & xuejing . go makan then saw tj kor and his friend . chat and settle down at nearby lohs . saw tj kor's friend smoke . i felt like , walans eh . i want to take sia , really wanna take . but like got complicated feelings . haish. i dunch know wth i am thinking .

i dun understand chemistry . this week got two to three test. HAISH . cant take it ahhh ! im under depression . sian lahs !


min -
bits & pieces.
care .

same or different . = /
haish ,

studies , stress ahh.

went to lot 1.. haish , i said i will lalalas & i did . fucks , i want to smoke , i want to die , i want to do many things which can hurt me . brrrr , but i just cant . i told jeanie that i want to get drunk but haish , cant manage to do it . her parents , my parents.BRRR ..

after that walk walk at plaza , sit down at senja . listen to mp3 & i just ... out . useless lahs , sometimes i dun even bother whether any car is coming towards me . i can just walk slowly..i just dun bother . haish , life sucks lah like hell .

min
i want to die as fast as possible.
NUMB

just to feel numb.

AHHH . im meeting jeanie later . haish . anyone want to bet with me that i will ..? hahas .

just now went to temple with family. need to pray . sians , pray loads of things .. & pray jeanie die faster ! lols , jk lahs. she also want to pray me kn bang by car leh . lols , tsk * bad lahs. i haben do my history hw leh . haish .

gtg
byebye

min.

felt so much better after rainfall on my bed -
no longer hiding tears beneath my eyes .
no longer hiding the sadness inside my heart

cos '
i'll cry everyday . i think so ~

actually i wanted to ask you to tell her , thanks for helping me but now nvm ahs. & i really didn hate her ah . i swear. doesnt matters now also nahs . hahas.


iloveyou.
still -
M I N

回头看来时的路

总有些复杂感触

我们走得那么辛苦

好不容易才到这地步

不被了解的痛楚

到不了爱的净土

是你让我越过冲突

陪我走过风雨险阻这一段路

如果开始就能看见幸福

不在别人眼光耳语中迷路

或许我不能把爱看清楚

想把你的手牢牢握住

如果这是通往爱的旅途

也许过程注定要荆棘密布

但我不后悔选择这条路

你的爱让我深深体会

活着的感触

有时我不愿回头看

一路太多眼泪混乱

幸好有你

我才变得勇敢

我从不后悔选择这条路

因为你的爱让我看见 活 着 的 幸 福

fucks ,

why my life so sucky
why everyday also got problem
why my brother liddat treat me .
cried this morning for this stupid computer.
HAISH .

because of .... , although my heart hurts when i saw it but nothing happen can lers ., yupps . haish , very tired ehs . i want to go out tml , must jio me out tml nahs ! if not i at home very sian lehs . where is jeanie , where is winnie , where is michelle , where is cheryl , where is ... HAISH . i want my playboy shirt.

why i so stupid ahh ?
why i so crazy ahh ?
hahs dun know.
maybe from next week onwards wont be blogging ler , maybe only nors. yups ,

later still must do my history homework . essay leh , three PAGES . wth , how to do . i miss zayar 's lame jokes and his stupid acts , can let me laugh until pengz . hahas , sian si wor lers.

bu guan xin you duo tong ,
i'll keep moving on till that day .


min -
wo bu xiang zai jia zhuang hen kai xin lers..
lalalas ~

; )

today i kept a promise to myself. if on that day everything is the same , i think i should let go lers .. but wad if i cant do it ? haish . i nv felt so miserable before. this was the very first time i didn have the appetite to eat almost everday . eat ler vomit ? hahs , crazy lah me. im under depression - lols ,must comfort me ahh .

ni tiu she wo dui ni de ai ..
haish ,

hahs , hope i today cry the whole damn night until i no tears to come out . then can dun need to cry anymore. i really siao sia. today got one super cute guy came to our school . walans , somemore twist at us when we are taking his fotos.

HAISH.

brendon kor and her stead also break ler , chenswee and liying quarrel. why all couple liddat ! must stay happy ah like me ? LOLS , ya.. im ' happy ' !

monday still need stayback for guides. wth~

my head very painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

min-

sometimes , i really dun wanna see the blog. but ..

haish

im tired , very tired..

finally , i tyco pass my physics test ; ) brightens up my day abit. if few marks gone , i will fail nahs but at least i pass ahh ! ..

life sucks nah , studies also.
tml can bring handfone to school . hahs , good eh ! no hw for today . whole class scolded by mr singh fer the history homework . hengs ~ =b
school rawks except fer lessons ? cause in school can see my friends , make me happy. if at home , i sure can think aload of things until i very very stress.

u never know what i wanted fer valentines day .
it doesnt matters now.

yr words bloody hell hurt me .

lalas,

being crazy in school is a great thing.

i thought i say i wanted you back ?
are we always friends ?
how to concentrate on my studies when i cant even focus .

wth am i talking ? , i dunch know.

HAISH .

i just realise something . knowing too much is bad . cus it hurts the heart. i didn know this until i was told . hahs , i stupid sia.

hahs, ytd val. day sucks load . did i mention ? lols , i didn know valentine day can be that upset. was really had fun the whole afternoon . saw kumar & winson at plaza and later on , met zhenlu and his frens. had kinda loads of misunderstanding , but actually they okay der bahs. yup , then met up with clement they all ,go play with spray , our revenge mah . hahs, about to go home ... met him ,

--
today <3s

school was as normal nors , the first four period was having the total defence thing. superb free larh. hahs, i cried in class. stupid eh ? i felt im like the most idiotic person in the world. very stress with many things. and felt so upset and got the urge to cry when i saw my math class test marks. 8/40 , okays ? i failed already , argh . imagine that ! i spend time doing my ws , i studied fer it & this is my mark. i really hope i could pass my maths , at least once also can larh . but wth , i jus cant make it . i put in all my effort ler eh. hahs , so worthless. im really giving up on maths , theres no point study fer it when i just cant score.

i dont know why my heart pain in class fer awhile then not pain ler .
bleeding ahs ? hahs. siao

&
thanks jasper for the present u gave me . <3s it loads.

next week , all the guides going to the stage fer the thinking day .
pray hard hard dunch malu sia ~

why i everytyme felt the cold in home and my fever will always come back.
duhs !

min-


wo xiang yao da ku yi chang .
CUTS

dead -

she have cuts in her heart. she wanted a happy valentine day and it all end up like this. i dun wan to cry infront of u .. i dunwan to ,

my heart is dead. DEAD .

die .
cuts .

CUT .

thanks , zhenlu for the thing . takecares.
so nice of u .
happy valentine day.

im CRAZY in school the whole day , shout here and there . .siao ! im not gonna moodswing in sch , winnie . ytd night , i think my eyes got problem ah . pain ehs fer quite a long time. but nvm ah , nobody cares also. hahas , super slack in class . cant concentrate to wad the teacher says. during ms chew lesson , i go write many stupid things on a piece of paper. that will be a forever secret !

sian ah , tml valentine sia. who spend with me eh ? winnie , my laogong or michelle or jeanie ? lols , but still got pst after school . sian ~ today after sch go makan at senja grand then wait fer jeanie after that go plaza . nth to do , went to senja there der playground chat. sian si wo ler =
&
to all couples ; tml ; )
last long and stay as sweet as possible.

i love rain !

* SILLY fool
min -

dont show me cold attitude .
you treat me like nobody ever cares.
im NOTHING , a TRANSPARENT glass.
im going nuts soon .
LOLS

N U T S !

hahs , i can do it . i can stop chatting with him .

lalalas ,

sighs*

maybe this is better larhs , maybe i will be happier ? who knows , ryte ?
i just want him to chat with me and is enuff already ~ = )
hahas

this valentine , i think will never get to spend with him . hahas yupp ,
lols .
lalalas


dead.min -

zhen jing ai guo-

wo zhen de zhen de hao xi huan ni.
haish.
why am i so silly ..
i need him , always need him. theres a missing part in my life . since he said that he not loving me anymore.
hahas , wad fer i continue hurting myself , continue to like him , continue being crazy,
might as well let go of everything .
do he feel how i felt ?
i dun like the way he offline without chatting. i dun like ,
hahas , this year valentine will be the worst one in my whole damn life.

people said , ' already break up ler , still like him fer wad ? dun think of him lah . '
easy to say ? but difficult to do it.
xin hao tong , hao tong , hao tong orh...

haish ,
i cant face the problem .

stay ?
leave ?

HAISH .
bu neng mei you ni ...

theres other guys fer me . but why cant i turn to them ? haish .
i really could der.

everytyme i walk past senja lrt , i will look out fer him .
when theres no sight of him , my heart tears apart.
i wanted to tell him many many things that hes my everything .
my everything .
i cried again . ben dan .

haish.

ineedu-

my feelings nv fade from the startin till now. NEVER. but eventually it gets deeper & deeper.
haish

im sorry ;

u are too good for me.

min

就算他离开了我,我不会要他回来 ,

就算我很喜欢他...就算...

我不会要 .

很想跟你说情人节的那天我想和你 一 起 度 过 .

很想跟你说我不想失去你..

可是我说不出来 .

-- HAISH

now i realise many things . it was me who always started cold wars. MANY of them .it was him who is always waiting not me. it was always him tolerating my attitude. it was always me who hurt him . always always hurting him. it was me who are silly . it was me that i do not know how to appreciate. & it was me .

who only know how to cry after things that happen
&
only me who do silly things.

---

went to lot 1 today met up with clement they all. my mood at first okay ders. at night , cant take it ..earnest , knn ! his attitude like so guai lan sia. ARGH !! clement very CUTE ! hahas, the way he dance in kbox. lols . haish . no appetite to eat but still went to plaza with mich go makan dinner at longjohn ,

HAISH .


; tml is the day we broke up one month . hahas ,
IM CRAZY .
i need to release stress!

min
UNLOVED -

我需要你 ,

haish , i fever lers . felt so cold now . my teeth nort pain lers but i scare pain again . dun know whiie morning wake up very scare. scare that 我会失去他 . cause i got a feeling this day will be coming soon . =/ 他有说过如果等太久, 感情可能越来越少..

我在胡思乱想吗 ?


*shivers,

cold ahh !

不 能 没 有 你 ...
zhen de.


min-

' not loving you anymore '

FCUK . how can u do this to me . i hate you
and i hate myself fer loving u . how can do this to me . !
knn sia.

i know this will happen one day .
but i don believe it.

my worst nightmare.

fuck off from me.

sian , not going school tml . my teeth sucks like hell . i want go bang the wall. pain until i want to cry . i hope i can sleep well tonight , i hope ah. haish after school , maybe go find jeanie ? haish , dunno

im not okay .
it cant be real , i must be dreaming .

min

lalas ~


romantic ehs ? hahas , this is fer cheryl . the birthday girl. will be much nicer , if the sparks didn go off so fast . aww , romantic ! all the guys wont do this, only the girls would. lols



my super cute cousin . i want to take her foto but she dun wan. very cute. hahas , so only took her sideview. but cute enuff ryte ?


happy belated birthday to cheryl ! mwarks.
mustt last long with him okay ?

school sucks.

min-

i dunno why i dun have appetite to eat. aww , but im HUNGRY . stupid nahs , mum not at home only dad is . he only care bout his horses. g _ _ _ _ e ! tml need to go relative hse. i pleaded dad to let me do hw at home but he dun allow . wtf ~ i want to stay at home tml nahs ! haish . not feeling well eh ~ got abit fever. >.< next week got history , maths , physics and chinese class test .

&

i've got pst from febuary onwards. unlucky ehs ! must stay in school till 3.30 ! sian sia. today didn stay back after school cause ms chong didn come and ms liew only told us what to do fer guides . two projects need to be done by tues . how to finish it when i got so much things to do already. stress eh , haish . i felt like crying .

nothing much after school , hang around at bp area. haish =/ im tired ! so went home and sleep . headache.

min ;
inu-

get rid of those feelings for me , can ? i dun wanna feel that way to her.

im sorry,

once again

rejected;
you are a stupid and silly guy ...,

i broke his heart many times.
haish
& i hope this is the last time i did this again .

SORRY .haish ,,

why are u still dere fer me when i dun even know how to appreciate you !?

HAISH

haish , i wait . i waited and im still waiting . i msg him & he didn reply me . nvm ah , its fine. i dun mind at all. & yup , ferget bout it.

haish , sad larhs . i knew this would happen but we got scolded by ms chong today fer skipping guides. disappointment ? = ( mood damn down and angry , and i stared at mark when he walk past. im sorry , i was angry . yups , why dun she think ? when hafizah they all escape guides , she also never say anything , me and others run away then scold us . i love guides but please , dun make me hate it just because of you.

the whole day in school , i MOODSWING . but okay nahs , tml still must stay back after school at 1pm until dunno what time . sure very late also. ARHS.. friday lehs , so early can go off after school then ask me to stay back. haish.

next week got alot of test , must study lers. sunday is cheryl's birthday , will celebrate with her . i dun know what to buy fer her ~ alot of homework need to do, i'll bring it to relative's hse on sat and finish it. im busy on sat and sun ! i want to sleep, i need to sleep. zzz , haish

after school , went to plaza makan and went back to school to do homework. thanks karen for teaching us physics ! = ) hees , waited fer winnie they all to end their npcc and go off lers. and we went CRAZY infront of so many people we dun know but we also dun care der nahs , hahas . run here run there like siao der. stupid michelle take my minnie away ! wahahas , 7 plus reached home .

- will do my maths hw later , lalalas ~

--
&

i hate people trying to put an act infront of me . from the starting to now , i never hate you because you are still my friend . still , you know ? i heard many bad things about you & some i believed,but i think that maybe you got yr reasons doing this & i dunno. but dun backstabb can ? haish , i treat u as friend & i wanted you to change back. change back to your ownself.

ps : not siding & wont want to side anyone. arhs,



my playboy necklace. is in red & pink .

*uoy togrof tuoba em.
min`

thanks meijin loads fer the skin ! ; ) im sorry that i changed the background . hope you dun mind ah ; ) THANKS.

wth , i'll shall curse that person who hacked my brother's maple account somemore friends . stupid larhs. angry sia !

wahahas , i skipped guides meeting today and went to lot 1 . aww , my heart sank when i went out of the school , felt so bad to the teacher . but nvm ah , its not many times i escape from girl guides. duhs -.- & the activities is so damn boring so might as well run away =b lols. this morning suppose never go school one cause abit not feeling well but in the end i still went cause mum dun allow me to stay at home. wth , i wanna slack one day also cannot !? haish !

MATHS , later got maths hw . again ! i dun wan to do , can ? get back to the topic. lot 1 ! hahas , i kesiao there . lols , went there with veron , winnie, jeanie and mich . tingjian met us later on. so long never see him ler , still that skinny. tsk tsk ~ dead-

i wonder tml will ms chong come and find me nort ? dun care ler nor , write a letter to her. i love guides leh , haish

went home at about 6 something ? got off from the lift and saw him with his friend at senja lrt . lalas ~ walk away .

* hmms , i got bad feeling . but dunno what feeling -.-

i flunk my pure geog test cause i din study at all. 13/40
i cant concentrate ! arhs ! i wont fail it again , i swear ! = (

min-
unloved.