for a moment ..

i started to think back . about those memories with him . its all very small things which i did with him . but why did i have a dream about him ? i dontwant to look back again and suffer my ownself again like last time with ***** . i dontwant things to repeat again and again . sometimes , i wonder why i would end up like this ? is it retribution , is it because i rejected guys and made them feel hurt . & this is what i got in tha end ?

i tried not to look back again because i know its bygones which will nvr happen in my life again . its because of you , i fall once again more badly . i thought i get over you already .. but having the dream , i know its what i want in my life. or probably is that i think too much again? or MAYBE , i dont even need you already . hais , you nvr knew how im feeling bout you right now . can i say ..

HELLO , KUKUASS . get yourself out of my mind , can ! ?

MAYBE , I DONT EVEN NEED YOU . its those sensitive thoughts that made me feel this way again . it happens all tha times -.- sooo , i shall not bother bout this stupid dream and let myself be free , which i loveeee alot .

i think i understand guys abit uh . because theres this one time , this guy wanna say sth to me . and i said to him that i know what he wanna say to me . i think he was quite shocked and he didn talk to me since that day . i know what guys will be thinking whenever a girl talks bout him after they broke up . but i just wanna keep my mouth shut ..

unloved , i said.

yesterday was mooncake festival . lols , & its girlfriends' day ! but it ended up without winnie . kind of sianhalfs also . hahs , then we wenta to bp park. its alot of people lahs . saw peipei & huiming there . && i dontknow why i suddenly have gastric pain . damn pain uhs >.< and i left with three papers only . i think i will flunk math this time very badly , hais . its soo painful when knowing that my ownself will flunk it because wo dui that paper no confidence ! chinese okok ouhs , budden i also got no confidence in passing it with flying colours . mmm , geog paper 2 haihao nors . hope can pass : x hais , i dontwant retain & i want to stay in 3B with those funs uh ! pray hard hard !~ pictures !


min & michelle <3 michelle loves me .


MEME . & tha one sleeping on my bed is ....
WINNIE :D


sparks!


me & michelle made ders ,
candle hearts . prettaye ouhs.


our fingers <3

we kept shouting ***** no use , only got use at xxxxx xxxxx , ******* mei you yong , wang ba dan & of course , ****** mei you yong also ! lols ,

but .. today morning , when i woke up . i realised that i dreamt of him ! then i think of it .. i was crying in my dream & i was veryvery upset because of something . then i wenta my mirror and looked at myself . i blinked and then one drop of tear came out from my eyes . my eyes were watery & its red lahs ! .. i swear it was the most upset dream i've before .
---

sorry fer not posting tha past few days . i need to mug hard mah ! hope that the results i got , wont disappoint me till i cry -.- im studying chemistry later. loves !

ouhs , jiemei 184

unloved

erms , today is my birthday : D yes , my birthday . i dontknow how to describe my feelings ! its like not really sad and not really happy . am i happy ? am i sad ? no idea ~ this year is like a very very big difference from last year one. so how should i start uhs ? ouh ya , today is guoyan's birthday & xinhua's birthday and shaun's birthday & natassia too . lols , so many huhs ! this year's birthday is kind of ... mmm , i dontknow how to describe. BUT !

im really elated when i saw all tha smses which they send to me or give their greetings to me in school . which all wrote , " happy birthday " in the sms. its like it is a BIG present already because they still remember my birthday . & the " they " im referring to are ; michyeo , winnie , jeanie , cheryl , christine , sulastri <3 , junqian , weiming , kurt , razis , guoyan , jingting , zhenlu , zihui , kunda , ka en , zayar , libing , yanling ,grace , suning , nazura , yuanliang , stephanie , joanna , peipei , natalie , mark , leslie , razak , rebecca , huijuan , kenneth & etc. thanks lot uhs.

thanks jingting , girlfriends , mark , leslie , kunda and natalie fer the presents. girlfriends , natalie , mark & leslie for the playboy stuffs . kunda fer the piglet . jingting fer tha mickey thingy . & big big thanks to my family because they got me my dream phone , nokia 6111 . im feeling so guilty , so sad , so touched cause the whole family spend alot of money to buy that phone fer me . sooo , i cried outside the phone shop because i was so touched . then dad came and hugged me and told me thats its alright. how can i hate my dad , when he dote me so much ? hais , si bai uhs ! i love my family , they are my everything : D loves.

after school , wenta lot 1 with girlfriends . they gave me tha present in kiddy palace -.- diaos huh . lols , stupid ehs . but thanks uh . walkwalk around , went home ! michelle took my chemi notes. duh ! imp notes , somemore.

lastly ,
happy birthday to myself , LIMIN !
one year older lers : D hehs .

ouhs ! ferget bout oct 9 ~~

am i happy ?


unloved.

hahs ! finally done with my coursework . i mean everything ! lols , good good :D lols , ouhs . and im done with winnie's blogskin. wait fer her online now ~ jin tian de xing qing not bad ~ hehs .

today , at night go outside eat to celebrate my early birthday . actually ... i dont feel like going . hais . thanks junqian fer helping me to print my F&N work! studying ss later ? abit bahs . hahaa
stupid jeanie msg me just now said that we are officially together today ! LOLS , she crazy uhs . okok , together uh ! today is oct 1 . happy children day to u : D and nov 1 is our first month . hahs . crazy lahs (:

it's children day -.- lols ,

this love is dying ...


unloved

sometimes .. sometimes .
i feel ..

i dontknow why .
i dontknow wads wrong with me again .
mum said that dad will be bringing me out to eat on sunday
to celebrate my early birthday .
i dontwant , its not what i want . i ...
i told michelle today , i wasnt really expecting my birthday to come.
i dontknow why . i got this very bad feeling ..
its very very different from last year.
when that special day of mine to come
, i guess i will not feel the joy in me like last year anymore .
so let this birthday to be an unhappy birthday (:
i dontknow why i felt so down .
maybe moodswings .
all i want is A1s for my subjects.
MICHELLE SAID THAT MY EXPECTATIONS ARE HIGH -.-

erms, maybe from next week monday till the end of examination , i wont be online. yaaa , & maybe will online and blog only on my birthday :D

today was like so fun in class (: hahaa ,

tml is ENGLISH test . hais , i must pass. no more failings , LIMIN (: buck up ! i need tha motivation , please.

i wish i wish , i can pass all my subjects.

have to rush my F&N work . hais , fucks life. so many things need to do . finish le must go revise . my dearrr pure geog.

ytd i met a despo -.- can u believe it ? within two days , he can ask for it . if im dumb , i will accept. but im not ! he is crazy and im not . hahs : D weird people always do weird things . ouhhh , i fail my english again . duhs , i guess i must study the dictionary fer better vocabulary to use . HAIS .

this friday , will be my first paper which is english . wish me good luck : D i hope i can do it , i hope i can finally pass my english . just like my maths . hais , PLEASE .

thanks christine uh : D
i think this is the first time i got so depress.
i still feel ... super duper upset. hais

unloved lost her confidence again! HOW ?!
she wants to score A1 for all her subjects .

is it because my expectation for myself is too high .
or ,
its normal ?

hais . even a thousand words cant describe how im feeling now .

&&
i received the letter to make IC . wees ! i can work le lahs !

just a short post fer today & off to a nap later. wake up & study ss. duhs , im in a low spirit. ahhs , cause of my physics class test. i think im going to flunk it . but my chemi class test results somehow cheer me up also . A1 for tha first time. so today mood quite weird uhs . half upset , half happy : x hais , i dontknow why i cant score for physics. HAIS

thenthen , chinese lesson . zhang lao shi angry with kelvin & ronnie. so , she scold scold lors. then must do tha yi lun wen paper then can be release. dui bu qi , lao shi ! : D mug hard , people.

please help me with my physics ~ hais . ): i feel so so so soooo sad . i think im going to score the lowest mark in the class. why cant i just simply understand tha topic and do all the questions ?! stupidd. HAIS HAIS HAIS. i dont want to pull down my chemistry marks . HAIS HAIS HAIS .

how ?
baddd mooooooodddddd .


unloved, i said .

went to find jeanie just now . afternoon nahs : D wenta nat house downstair , cause stupid jeanie want take her books so accompanied her ! then after that wenta plaza , buy some stuffs. eat my dinner (: went home .

ouhs , i hate my damn computer. is like so damn slow , i felt like hitting it till it really spoilts. im finding panda icons ^^ who have it ? give meeee. hahaa , doing homework later. kind of lazy lahs , but no choice. i didn bring back my F&N book too. duhs -.- how to do my coursework. ahhh , ferget it .

i think my blog is kind of weird -.- i dontknow ,

unloved

bu zhi dao why suddenly i so emotional. xiang alot alot nahs . im not gonna to direct anyone here :D so rest assured that im not talking bout U ! sometimes i've been thinking what i want & how much do i understand myself. i will go like , hey i dont wish to know myself . i will always look at the negative side because i know i wont have a happy ending like everyone does. can you see how much i hate myself ?
FUCKS LIES.

people , cherish everything you have now uhs :D bbefore it all slips off from you . by that time , u will be crying like shits . & nobody will really cares bout you . even if they do care , they wont know how hurt you are feeling . NO , they cant. sometimes its not really great to rake up tha past anymore , u will look back and laugh at yrself. silly huhs ? let go of everything that does not belong to you .

is this something in this world called everlasting ?

i dontknow why i felt such a way . i will look at myself infront of a mirror and say , ' ugly bitch , you deserve it . ' i think i will always get so suay . hahs ! bytheway , its great to be loved ! really really so xinfu , ohkays . i get over to those things already. hold on with yr relationship if u have one , dont say break up this two words so easily. give in & understanding , is tha only thing you must have to get a stable relationship . i dontwant to see my closest friends ending up in a bad state, you know ^^ nvr give up . its doesnt means that tha person dun cherish u and in the end u do tha same too .

he will always be my pain .

limin , stop tha craps -.- hahaa , michelle kuku miss MEMEME : D imissyoo too . mum still remember that my bday is coming . quite happy lahs . but i wanted to have my nokia6111 as my bday present. budden i know she cant afford it lahs . its alot of money . so ferget it ,dont put too much hope . hahaa :D nvm , after eoy , i will go and work. earn money , buy that phone && no one should snatch with me to buy that prettaye phone . maybe? hais ):

hahaa , adults always lie to children .

today slept alot . hahaa , msged with ian just now. nice guy :D i knew him through friendster ^^ lols , kills my boredom. lalas : x homework later ? STUDY lah , limin . byebye , stupid blog.


unloved , i said.

mmm , morning :D . just now chat with some people in msn . what to do ners ? hais , let it be bahs . mummy sick lers , so i wont be going out today ? i notsure also , im going to starve myself till die uhs . ytd wenta pasar malam with jeanie & her bro. bought my adidas bag (: quite nice lahs . i dontknow why i like it so much when i first saw it. saw my school sec2 de girls. chio : D

i was feeling so vexed today . eoy is approaching already , next week lahs . i must pass all my subjects . pleaseeee (: hais , im having gastric pain again ~ its damn pain . ahhhh .

forgot to bring my F&N book home . i have lotsa of homework . doing it all at night . monday study fer ss . lalas :D

unloved

today was so tiring :D but i've got lots of fun with my guides friends. wenta cycle at east coast park . de-stress , you know : x hahaa ,somehow i love today lahh. school was ohkay , mr singh nvr come again. lalas . quite good lahs , LOLS .

later going to pasar malam with jeanie at bangkit. im slacking (:
today is for me & cheryl <3

i miss my winnie (:

unloved.

im in a bad mood now ): very very bad mood. & i dontknow why . please dun irritate me fer tha time being .. brrr

min :D

SCREAM WITH ME ! ahhh : D hahaa , im so so so happy because i FINALLY pass my maths . like wow , finally can ?! i broke the curse of failing maths forever . lols , although its like just pass by six marks. the feeling is damn shiok lahs : D today is 20th & is the date for me & christine. lala :D today damn high uhs .

im so sleepy now because i only slept for five hours ytd. cause i spent hours studying ss & chemistry . chemistry test , im ohkay with it lahs. ss , teacher nvr come. liddat also good ouhs , i can have much time to study and understand the topic. E.O.Y is coming & im still lacking behind. ahhh , buck up ! buck up on my studies now !

wanted to do a new blogskin. sians ,
BE ORIGINAL .

i want i want playboy stuffs ^^

unloved

whats today's date huhs ?

dedication to my dearrr dearrr christine .
hahaaa , iloveyou lahs . christine : D
happy 15th birthday . may u last long with SHARK orhs.
hehs , just like wad the card said . thanks for every single thing you did for us in this three years. & i really appreciate it alot. i'll definitely cherish this friendship to bits and pieces. hope ya like tha present & be really very happy today. today is yr birthday & how can u cry this morning because u are touched huhs ! cannot lahs . SMILE ehs : D cyas tml !

okays . so morning , we intend to give christine a surprise . && i told winnie to tell christine that im late & ask her to wait for me downstairs. at first we bought her a sunblock lotion cause she sunburn mahs ! hahaa , so when i reached first floor . i asked her to come inside tha lift & said to her , happy birthday , & hugged her (: gave her tha present. hehs ! bytheway * i shall forget tha date 9th october . LOLS

after that wenta eat breakfast at greenridge . then faster go school lorhs. school was ohkay lahs . physics , i think i abit cannot understand . & tml theres a math test. please pray that i will pass uhs . chinese results got back . scored A1 . like finally lahs . but maybe because tha paper is easy .. mmm , but i still felt elated. weees !

F&N , teacher like crazy lahs . suddenly shout at us . ouhs , then after that she calm down then ohkay le. maybe doing my F&N research later , try to complete it by next week. guides is going to cycle at dontknow where lahs. but not confirm yet , is around exam corner. what a date ! >.< hais , i have alot of works need to do .

; chinese ying yong wen.
; english compo
; maths revision
; F&N research
; revise physics , social studies & chemistry.

SEE ! so many ~ hais . hais . hais.... fucks life.
i dont want i dont want & i DONTWANT to retain. please.

ouhs , & im so pissed off today by my history marks. i wrote the wrong answer at the wrong question. if not i can pass ? maybe ? hais , what should i do to improve my studies lahh. stress eh .

mmm , after school . they wenta my house & study & played games . like stupid lahs . hahaaa , tml study at home ! i promise ^^


unloved.

AHHHH , i didn mean anything bout what i said lahs . really , alright . hais ...

so i was chatting with mark on msn . then he kept asking me to relax . thanks uh (: hais , i dontknow lahs . felt quite down lahs . i mean , im not in a high spirits also . hais

didn went out out today . maybe tml ? yups , jeanie want go bugis buy her shoe. yupps , hais . whole day stayed at home study chemistry abit. acids , bases and salts . know a little bit more lers. actually , quite easy lahs . hahaa : x i dontknow why i cant get it last time. suppose got go out today de . cause winnie wanna go out to eat lunch , she msged me but i was sleeping . so i didn reply . when i woke up , i called her , but end up she was sleeping. damn stupid . hahaa , ohkay lahs . i go revise or maybe do my F&N lers.


ouhs , i miss kuku michelle & my lovely winnie : D
where is jeanie zibi ?

loves ,

MIN !

fucks f&n . stress lahs , i going to cry soon : x . hais , hais , hais ... sickening coursework . driving me crazy soon . theres still alot of them i need to do . HAIS , how lahs. ahhhhhh , by next week must hand in leh.

school was ohkay.

kuku michelle love me : D
wahhaaa .
paiseh lahs today : x
next time pei u k.

min.

BUSY :D
but mmm , spend some time blogging uhs.
doing my F&N coursework nors.
alot of things must type out.
hais , fan uhs !!
no choice lors. skipped guide today .
went back home & did my things.

im so tired lahhh .
exams are coming & im so afraid that i'll retain.
because my english are atrocious.
ahhh , FAN lahhh.
i'll be studying from this week onwards.

congrats to christine & her shark.
one month ouhs (: LASTTTT ah !


MIN